Since the day we were born, we were told by everyone around us that we will never be good enough, that we will never amount to anything, and that we will always be alone if we decide to tackle life as the person we are right now. We have been told that we need to completely change our personas and become the opposite of who we are in order to be accepted by those around us. We are constantly being fed messages that the person we want to be is the person we should never be.
Girls are raised being told that they will never find husbands if they are independent and outspoken. Boys are raised being told that they must never be vulnerable and sensitive, or they will be socially rejected by their peers.
It used to be that, in order to remain in any sort of relationship, girls needed to be present but not heard, to be available despite what they were going through, to be serving and obedient despite how they were treated, and to always cater to and agree with their husbands to keep marriages alive. In modern days, this role has switched to men when it comes to keeping marriages alive, known as “happy wife, happy life”.
Either way, every decade employs certain standards when it comes to keeping a relationship or a marriage intact, and people are expected to blindly follow them or face lonely lives. This puts people in positions where they are forced to completely surrender for the sake of others, for the sake of “togetherness”, and for the sake of “everlasting happiness”, or remain “unhappy”.
How happy can we really be as slaves to someone else?
How can our happiness stem solely from the happiness of someone else?
How can we possibly justify to ourselves that the way we feel and the way we behave can ever be thrown into the control of a stranger?
Can we un-train our brains?
Can we unlearn the habits that have been subconsciously worshipped for generations?
Can we teach ourselves to steer away from succumbing to the confines of those around us and finally learn to take back our own lives?