Fear Holds Us Back

"Those who have braved through the anxiety of this fear end up completely loving their solo lives, never regretting not having settled."



Loving someone does not mean completely surrendering.

Loving someone means finding equal balance between giving and taking without one side completely overpowering the other.

Loving someone means looking out for ourselves before looking out for others because we can only give to others when we have finished giving to ourselves.

Depriving ourselves of the goodness that we can give ourselves is the ultimate cause of pain to our physical and emotional health. We lose sight of who we can be for ourselves, the lovers we can be for ourselves, when we are immersed in trying to keep someone around by making him/her happy just because we fear being alone.

We fear ending up as the old woman with the twenty cats or the old man who resents everyone so we would rather settle for a stranger, an unfamiliar, than face the possibility of feeling lonely.

But the fear is all in our heads!

We only fear ending up alone when we have not lived it personally. Those who have braved through the anxiety of this fear end up completely loving their solo lives, never regretting not having settled. We turn to infidelity in our 50s because we regret having settled in our 20s. We run away and start over because we cannot admit to ourselves that we have failed ourselves by placing our entire lives in the palm of someone else.


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© Copyright 2020 Lena Ma Books

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