We let our pain, our guilt, our fear, our happiness and sadness, our anger, and our anxiety drive our lives, and we begin to define ourselves based on how we feel rather than who we are. When someone asks us who we are as people, most of us tend to say, “I am a wife”, “I am an optimist”, “I am a forgiver”, “I am a risk-taker”, etc. These labels all stem from our emotions.
We say we are someone’s spouse or partner because we FEEL loved. We say we are an optimist because our lives are currently going well, and we FEEL happy as a result of it. We say we live to forgive because we are either lying and want to give off the appearance that we are good people, or because we FEEL tremendous amounts of guilt when we do not forgive those who hurt us.
We say we are risk-takers, not because we are not afraid of dying, which is a common misconception with risk-takers, but because we are afraid of not living. We skydive, swim with sharks, climb Mount Everest, camp out in the woods for months with minimal supplies, and backpack to the most dangerous cities in the world, not because we are brave and fearless, but because we fear the idea of dying without having lived a full life.
We risk our lives for adventure and excitement, whether by jumping off a plane or having an affair, because we FEEL afraid that the monotonous lives we are currently living will be how we live until we die, and that is SCARY!
We overcome obstacles because we fear being dull and boring, not because we are courageous and adventurous. We live in a constant state of comparison, where we feel like we must be “different” even though we are all doing the same things to achieve that difference. Who are we trying to please? Our parents? Our friends? Social media? Who are they to say that our lives now are not enough?