Lying for Attention

How many times have we done this, thought about doing this, regretted doing this? How many times have we wanted the attention of someone, wanted to be the center of attention, wanted to be someone we believe is "better" than who we are now, that we over-exaggerate about certain events that had happened to us, or just straight up make up nonexistent events so others will believe we're more interesting than we actually are, or to vie the attention of someone and have them pity us?


We have all been guilty of this at some point. When someone stops talking to us, we make up a story to re-interest them. When someone says we're losers and loners, we concoct up stories that show we actually have a life. When someone we like ignores us, we make ourselves out to be incredible so they will notice us. When someone thinks we're boring and normal, we play the pity card. When someone challenges us, we make up lies to challenge them back. We are all full of excuses, wanting more than we have just so we can impress others. We become so hung up on living for others that we lose who we are in the process, and we forget what have been lies and what haven't; we begin to live those lies as truths, and we move further and further away from the real us.


Can we, will we, ever stop living for someone else, ever stop changing who we are based on whether or not others will like us for it? What we believe are white lies grow and grow, until we begin living a lie, and we, as a result become a lie. And when we can no longer continue lies, or when people begin catching onto our lies, we run and we isolate, ashamed of who we have become trying to impress those who don't care about us either way, truth or lie. What will happen when we become completely honest about our complete selves? Will those who like us now still like us? Will those who don't like us hate us even more? Will the few people we have on our sides run away? If they do, if people leave us for being our true selves, then those were the ones who were fake in the first place. We need people who will stick by us at our ugliest times, those who will forgive us despite the circumstance, and those who will be there through thick and thin. We need ourselves.