As human beings, we naturally feel pain. Just because there are certain societal standards on how we SHOULD feel and react after someone breaks our hearts, does not mean that we are obligated to follow them. No one has the right to tell us how to feel nor do we have the right to tell others how to feel.
We question whether we have done everything “right” during the relationship.
We question if we could have done more.
We question whether the relationship ended because of us.
We usually believe that it did.
We question what we could do now to redeem ourselves.
We question if the relationship is a lost cause.
We question our self-worth and whether we deserve happiness.
We question if anyone will ever love us again.
Why is it so easy for us to obsess over, chase, and give our worlds to others, but so difficult for us to do the same to ourselves?
Why do we believe that it is selfish to obsess over our own happiness by splurging on ourselves?
Why do we frown upon taking ourselves out on dates?
Why is it only socially acceptable to go out on dates with partners?
Why do we hurt ourselves when someone else is already doing it?
Why do we become stubborn and childish when someone does not want to be with us?
It is because we LOVE too much.
We fight for people and for relationships that we care about even if the fight destroys us. We deceive ourselves into believing that chasing after someone is a sign of love, compassion, and strength, but doing so only implies weakness and narcissism.
We become so hurt by the relationship that we try to compensate by acting like saints, professing our love and affection when the other person just wants out. The only way we can truly be “saints” is if we let go.
As hard as it is to not reach out to someone we love, it is the only non-selfish act we can do.
Keep in mind that I DO NOT mean not reaching out for the sake of manipulation. I mean not reaching out for the sake of letting go and letting those we love make their own decisions, letting those we love choose who they want to be with, and not forcing them to love us when they can barely look at us.
I need to let him go.
We all need to let them go.
Stop torturing ourselves by loving someone who refuses to love us back.
They might come back.
They might not.
But we cannot hold onto the belief that they will.
That belief will tear our lives apart.