“As you all may have already figured out, there is a deadly virus going around that is causing the eyes of human beings to liquefy and their bodies to shatter into millions of glass shards. This virus is called X9Y9X and was developed by the United States in an attempt to stabilize the world, a world that is currently brainwashed by an ego so large that humans have only been able to focus on themselves and their own desires. This virus was intended to stabilize the human ego by forcing us to deter from the use of selfies as a means of self-gratification.”

“However, there was a breach in the developing facility when the North Koreans infiltrated the lab, stealing the viral samples and altering it so the virus becomes much, much more deadly. You may have noticed that only those who refrain from selfies and Centriclist become the sole survivors of this disease, the virus unable to attach onto them because their egos are not large enough for the connection. This chaotic incident is not only happening in your town; it is global, a widespread pandemic that the North Koreans have inflicted upon the world, a massive scheme channeled to wipe out the shallow people of the world. The world around you is collapsing. People are incinerating from their own shallow habits yet, still refuse to stop even as those around them are continuing to perish right before their very eyes.”

“Come to us. Join us. Follow us to form a new society, a new generation where selfies and social media no longer rule the Earth. We are located closer to you than you think. Just follow the midnight signs to your destiny of life-long happiness, free from corruption. But, beware, any contact with the infected can tempt you to also travel down the same path of self-destruction and death. Avoid the infected at all cost. But, most of all, avoid selfies at all cost. We shall be waiting. Find us at Asylum.”